cunaria
by ailleurs
Summary: Malfoy looked like he was going to have a conniption. "What's so bad? Granger, when I was seven, she transfigured her head to look like an elephant and apparated to my room to scare me just because she felt like it!" He had a crazed look in his eyes and Hermione wished she'd kept her mouth shut. Ugh, when was this dance going to end?


**Prompt:** "When I was seven, she transfigured her head to look like an elephant and apparated to my room to scare me just because she _bloody felt like it_!"

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><p>Hermione Granger felt absolutely ridiculous.<p>

She was not used to the stares, or the whispers, or the wearing of silly dresses. Of course her dress was not silly _at all_ (she chose it herself, thank you very much), but she was very irritated at the moment. And if she let herself think about her predicament, then she would become very sad, very soon.

It had already been fifteen minutes since Viktor Krum left to grab some drinks and she had a sinking feeling that he wasn't coming back.

Did you really think you had a chance with him? Her mind whispered traitorously. Her shoulders sagged and a sigh escaped her lips, despite herself. She pressed her back against the wall, wishing she could disappear. Of course she was no match to Fleur or Ginny or Cho. She was just Hermione.

Plain, boring Hermione.

She refused to acknowledge the burning rock that seemed to lodge itself in her throat and instead resolved to go look for him. She stepped away from her spot by the wall but promptly knocked into somebody.

"Oh, my apologies!" the woman said, quickly manoeuvring her half-filled glass before it spilled on her. Hermione tried to hide her frown. As far as she was aware, only the staff from the 3 participating schools and the select committee in the Ministry would be granted access to Hogwarts. The woman did not look familiar at all, with her long, black hair twisted beautifully into a bun and startling green eyes that reminded her of a trinket in Professor Trelawney's class. She barely suppressed a shudder at the memory of being in her class.

"It's alright," she said instead, offering the woman a forced smile. "No harm done." The woman returned her smile and sipped her drink before cradling it with both hands, her nails tapping on the glass. The silence seemed to stretch between them.

"Are you looking for someone?" she finally asked. The witch glanced at her and quirked the corner of her mouth, giving Hermione the impression that she was indulging on a private joke.

"Yes, I am," she replied, eyes shining with what looked like amusement. Her eyes scanned the crowd, green eyes sharp and calculating. "Tell me, do you know someone called Draco Malfoy?" If Hermione was sipping her drink, she would have spat it all over the witch in front of her_. _As it was, her eyes merely widened in alarm. In her opinion, anyone who was actively looking for Malfoy with the sole exception of hexing him _can't_ be good news.

"I might have heard of him," she said slowly. "But I-"

"Oh, how rude of me!" the witch exclaimed as she stopped looking through the crowd to face her. "My name's Eleanor McPhee, so _very_ nice to meet you." Hermione wanted to tell her that _interrupting_ her was ruder than forgetting to introduce _herself_, but she held her tongue.

"Hermione Granger," she said, giving the woman a terse smile. "Pleasure." The witch laughed. Hermione had no idea what was so funny- was this witch laughing_ at her? _She silently fumed and was just about to walk away when Eleanor beamed at someone behind her. She turned around to find Malfoy with his eyes wide and face paling. He caught her gaze and he blanched before abruptly turning away.

"Oh, don't worry about him," Eleanor said, her hand patting her shoulder consolingly. "He's just scared to be seeing me again! Honestly, I take care of the boy for so-and-so years and then he comes here and thinks he can just…" Hermione tuned her out. If even _Malfoy_ was scared of Eleanor, then maybe it was high time she left her company-

"I'm sorry, what?" Hermione asked, her mind catching up with Eleanor's words. Eleanor gave her an exasperated look.

"I was saying how Draco hasn't changed at all-"

"You took care of him?" she asked, amazed. Eleanor gave her a smug smile, that was, until she heard Hermione's next words. "Did you teach him how to be flawlessly unbearable as well?" She hurriedly clamped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "I-I…um, that wasn't supposed to come out- I mean, um-"

"Oh, it's fine," Eleanor said, waving her empty hand airily. Hermione would have believed her, if not for the tightening of her jaw. "Draco's very thick-headed, but I like to think that he would have grown up to be worse if I wasn't there-" Hermione gave an unladylike snort before clamping her hand to her mouth again. Eleanor gripped her glass tightly and Hermione flushed with embarrassment. It was obvious Eleanor was spouting total _rubbish_, but that didn't mean she had to be rude.

"Well," Eleanor said through her teeth. "It was nice to meet you-" she broke off before looking again behind her and smiling. "Ah! Draco!" Hermione turned around to find Draco walking towards them, face pale but determined.

"Eleanor," he said, by way of greeting. His eyes met hers and he sneered. "Granger."

"Malfoy," she said, sniffing haughtily.

"Oh, Draco," Eleanor cooed. "How have you been?" Malfoy glared at her.

"Fine," he ground out, crossing his arms. "Why are_ you_ here?" Eleanor's eyes sparkled.

"_Excellent _question!" she said, sounding positively gleeful. "Can you guess?" Malfoy frowned, looking around the room before settling on someone. Hermione turned to see who he was looking at.

"Ludo Bagman?" she said, confused. Eleanor glanced at her, surprised she was still there.

"Well, Draco," Eleanor said, ignoring Hermione completely. "You know what to do-"

"No," Malfoy said, frowning. "I'm not your _bloody_-" Hermione watched as his lips closed together while he continued to talk. Malfoy hummed angrily, stomping his foot. Hermione would have found the situation amusing if not for the fact that this was Draco's acquaintance, and who knew what she was planning to do in the Yule Ball.

"Language, Draco, dear," Eleanor chided lightly. "We don't want Miss Granger to think I was a bad nanny, now, don't we?" Her eyes flashed and Hermione turned red. Malfoy glowered but nodded. "Good."

"Hag," he muttered under his breath. Hermione got the distinct impression that _that_ was the wrong thing to say. Malfoy seemed to think so too, because his face paled. Eleanor's eyes were narrowed into thin slits.

"Well, how about a showcase of your skills, hm, Draco?" she asked a little bit _too _sweetly. "I'm sure Miss Granger won't mind a dance?" She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and Hermione found her body moving of its own accord, placing her hand on Malfoy's outstretched one.

"Wait a minute-" she said, before her feet decided to move and they started to waltz along with the rest of the student body.

"You wait until my father hears about this!" Malfoy stammered angrily at Eleanor. Hermione's body suddenly pressed itself to Malfoy's, causing him to turn to an awful shade of red. "I'll have your head, Cunaria!" he called out. Hermione's hand moved from his shoulder to his chest.

"Stop insulting her, you idiot!" she cried, absolutely mortified. Malfoy turned to look at her, cheeks pink.

"Shut up, mudblood," he hissed angrily.

"No, _you_ shut up, Malfoy!" she hissed back, eyes flashing. "It's obvious that she can hear us, isn't it? So just shut your mouth before I shut it _for_ you!" Malfoy scowled.

"Look at her," he said angrily after a few moments, eyes narrowed. Hermione waited until he twirled around her before spotting Eleanor watching them with a smug smirk on that wretched face of hers. "Stupid witch." Hermione gasped as Malfoy's hand suddenly went to- went to-

"Malfoy," she said, voice low. "I am going to _kill_ you." Malfoy's face was an odd mixture of green and red.

"It's her powers, Granger," he whispered fearfully. Hermione gave him a disbelieving look. "I swear! Look at her; she's on the other side of the Hall! How can she still hear us?" She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"She's a_ witch_," she said, as if that explained everything. She groaned. "When does this music _end?_" Malfoy looked agitated.

"I don't know," he said, distracted. He gritted his teeth. "But when she used her wand-" Hermione frowned.

"What wand?" she said, curious, her hands fisting on the front of his robes. "I didn't see any wand". Malfoy let out a frustrated sigh.

"Calm down," he said. "It's that ring, it acts as her wand-"

"What? Why? _How?_" Malfoy stared at her.

"Granger, you have that look in your eyes," he said warily.

"What look?" She shook her head quickly. "Never mind. I don't really care. And what do you _mean_ that ring acts as her wand?" Malfoy lifted her up in time with the rest of the dancers and Hermione was glad that his hands went back to holding her waist.

"Those rings were made to replace wands and to comply with the Child Care Regulations set in place during 1756," he explained, his voice adopting a monotonous tone, as if reciting from a book. Hermione wondered if he really _was_ reciting it all from memory. "The idea was thought of by Tessilia Owgenbruk, half-witch, half-goblin. She came up with the idea of combining wand properties with rings. The rings are made with petrified wood from the nanny's wand, although sometimes they're mixed with metals, especially if the wand wood is extremely pliant. The wand cores are melted and mixed with the ring, which gives it its shine and colour. Once it's on, it's nearly impossible to get off." Hermione's mind whirred.

"How come I've never heard of this?" she asked, trying not to show her frustration.

"Exactly!" Malfoy suddenly exclaimed, agitated. Hermione thought he looked rather crazy. "The Cunaria Society is too secretive to be _just_ a Nanny Centre, Granger! Think about it!"

"Well, _you_ obviously have," she replied wryly. Malfoy's face turned slightly pink.

"You don't know what it's like, Granger," he said, as if pained. Finally, the song ended and they found themselves walking back towards Eleanor and Ludo Bagman. Eleanor's eyes caught Malfoy's, and he sighed heavily, cursing under his breath.

"Mister Bagman," he said cordially, shaking the man's hand. "I'm Draco Malfoy, nice to meet you. I'm sure you know my father." Ludo Bagman shook his hand enthusiastically.

"Well, well," Bagman said, impressed. "Very nice, Mister Malfoy, your dancing skills are superb, simply superb!" Hermione watched the interaction with interest- Malfoy tried to look humbled, but failed magnificently.

"Yes, well, _Miss Eleanor_ here," he said, giving Mister Bagman a forced smile, "insisted that I take dancing lessons when I was only eight years old." Eleanor laughed and blushed daintily. Hermione tried not to roll her eyes.

"Oh, Draco was a quick learner, Mister Bagman!" she replied humbly. Draco sneered at her.

"Oh, but you were such a _wonderful teacher_." he turned to face his nanny's latest client. "She still is. She's strict, but fair. Don't you have a son?" Ludo nodded happily.

"Yes, Tryten will be turning three next month," Ludo supplied needlessly. Malfoy nodded.

"I'm sure my father would recommend Miss McPhee," he said in all seriousness. "My family only has the best, but…well, she's _one_ of the best, at least." He smirked and Hermione noticed Eleanor frown, before covering it up with a polite smile.

"Oh, well, I think Mister Bagman would like to see you dance again, yes?" She brushed the stray hair away from her face and Hermione once again found herself taking Malfoy's outstretched hand, leading her back into the Great Hall.

"You. Stupid._ Idiot,_" she said slowly when they were out of earshot. "Why can't you just go along with what she was saying?" Malfoy scowled.

"Whatever, Granger," he said, facing away from her. They waltzed for a few moments in silence before she found the silence uncomfortable.

"So she was your nanny," she started. "What's so bad about her? I mean, aside from the fact that she's overbearing and so easy to hate…" Malfoy looked like he was going to have a conniption.

"What's so bad?" he whispered. Hermione wished she'd kept her mouth shut. It seemed that when it came to Eleanor McPhee, Draco Malfoy had _plenty_ to say, all of them bad (well, when he wasn't lying through his teeth, anyway). "_What's so bad?_ When I was seven, she transfigured her head to look like an elephant and apparated to my room to scare me just because she _bloody felt like it_!" He had a crazed look in his eyes and Hermione didn't know whether to laugh or be completely scared, whether she was pressing her lips shut to stifle a laugh or a scream.

"Why did she become your nanny then?" she whispered fiercely when she saw Eleanor glance at them. "More importantly, _why_ is she making me dance with you?" Draco frowned. Hermione could almost hear his brain trying to come to some conclusion.

"You're right," he said, grimacing. "There must be something else. No doubt she would approach you with a plan already set in motion…You should have left when you had the chance." Hermione scowled.

"I wouldn't be in this position if Viktor didn't take so lo-" her eyes widened as a thought struck her. "No, no, that can't be it. I mean, _why_ would she even- no, I'm being silly-"

"What are you going _on_ about, Granger?" Malfoy asked, exasperated. Hermione licked her lips nervously, and he gave her a quick twirl.

"Well, Viktor left to get drinks and hasn't come back…and then she came over and started talking to me," she explained. Malfoy's face paled.

"What were you doing while you were waiting?"

"Er…watching everyone dance?"

"Someone in particular, Granger? Weasel, perhaps?" Hermione's eyes widened.

"What? Of course not, don't be silly!" she stammered, eyes darting down. "Why would you come up with something like that?" Malfoy tightened his grip on her.

"Because he's coming this way and he looks ready to kill. I'm guessing this would be Eleanor's plan." Hermione had to wait until Draco turned them around before she saw Ron with his face almost as red as his hair.

"He'll cause a scene!" she whispered furiously.

"That's the whole point." he grimaced. They both looked at each other in panic.

The next few moments seem to happen in slow motion. Suddenly, Ron was right behind Malfoy, and the spell that bound them together seemed to have been broken because Draco turned around, catching Ron's fist straight in the face. He stumbled down to the ground.

The Great Hall descended into silence.

"What the hell do you think you're doing to Hermione, prick?" Ron said angrily. He turned to her. "Hermione, you alright?"

"You-You-" Hermione said, too shocked to form coherent sentences. Draco staggered back up.

"Weasley," he said, his characteristic sneer all but gone. Hermione had to commend him on his acting. He looked the part of the offended party. "We were just dancing and talking- none of your business."

"Ron, Malfoy didn't do anything wrong!" Hermione finally managed to say, frustrated. "Stop this!"

"I don't believe you!" he shouted, before turning to Malfoy and pointing an accusing finger. "What did you do to her?"

"Don't scream at her, Weasley," Draco said, trying to rein in his temper. "She didn't do anything wrong. _I_ didn't do anything wrong. What you did was uncalled for." Ron spluttered.

"Don't act all high and mighty, you ferret!" he exploded.

"I'm not," Draco replied seriously. "You're just embarrassing yourself. If you want to fight, then maybe we should do this outside. Not here in front of H-Hermione." She could see him trying not to cringe when her name fell off his tongue.

"Ronald Weasley, you will not _do_ such a thing!" she said instead. She turned to Draco. "And you- don't encourage him! Are you okay?"

"Why are you asking _him_ that?" Ron asked, outraged. Hermione turned to him.

"You _punched _him!" she cried out. Draco touched her arm to calm her. Ron saw the gesture and tried to lunge at him, but Harry finally managed to push his way through the crowd and held him back just in time.

"Mate, everyone's staring," he whispered. His gaze fell on Malfoy's hand on her arm, but Hermione shook her head. Harry nodded and a silent understanding passed between the two. Ron looked at her, betrayed. He shook himself off Harry's hold before stomping away. Harry hurried to follow him. She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and turned to Malfoy.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly. He sighed and puffed his cheeks before wincing.

"Bloody hell," he muttered under his breath. He turned his cheek towards her. "Does it look bad?" Hermione grimaced.

"Well…it's not swelling yet," she offered lamely. "Do you want to go to the Infirmary?" He nodded and they walked out of the Great Hall, the band starting up again. "Malfoy, that was-"

"Oh Draco!" Eleanor said, appearing out of nowhere and giving him a hug. "Are you alright?" Hermione noticed Ludo Bagman right behind her. Malfoy must have seen him too, and so said nothing. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"Such display of level-headedness!" Ludo piped up. Malfoy nodded his thanks. "If you were a few years older, _no doubt_ the Goblet of Fire would have chosen_ you_ as the Hogwarts' champion." Malfoy's face paled, _no doubt_ thinking of the first task.

"Eleanor always told me to avoid fights in public," he said instead. "I didn't want to cause a scene." Eleanor gave him a small smirk.

"Well, Miss Granger here was just about to escort him to the Infirmary. We'll be going back to the Great Hall, then," Eleanor said, straightening up. "Now, Mister Bagman, we were talking about little Tryten?"

"Ah, yes!" As soon as Eleanor and Ludo Bagman left, Malfoy leaned against the wall, muttering expletives under his breath. He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Poor Tryten," he said, laughing dryly. "I almost feel sorry for the child."

"Huh. That was actually cleverly executed," Hermione said to herself after a few moments. Draco's head whipped up to face her so fast that she heard his neck click. She shrugged off his look of utter disbelief. "Well, it was. Of course, if it was up to _me_, I would have made you say that you wanted to protect my honour. Ludo Bagman would probably eat that up. And definitely a fight. That would be good too, especially if you didn't retaliate. Although I really have no idea why she needed _us_; it looked as if she handled him well on her own, really."

"Are you out of your mind, Granger?" Malfoy said, shocked. "Look at me! I just got punched so she could secure a new client and you sound like she's the best thing to happen since Quidditch!"

"Well, you have to admit it was an elaborate, yet highly unnecessary, scheme. I still don't understand why she had to choose _me_. You could have danced with _anyone_. Or just chose a couple and use you to try to get between them."

"You came in with Viktor Krum," Draco explained. "Ludo Bagman would have noticed you, and when you danced with me, Eleanor would only have to make an observation about us, he'd start talking about you being Krum's escort, and they can have a conversation going." Hermione looked impressed.

"I never thought of that," she said thoughtfully. They stood in silence for a few moments. She cleared her throat, her gaze drifting to his pale, bruising face. "Does it hurt?" She held out a hand to run her thumb across his bruising cheeks before she could help herself. She met his gaze and her breath caught in her throat.

"_Of course_ it bloody hurts, woman," Malfoy whined, ruining the moment. She rolled her eyes and pulled her hand away.

"Well, come on then, let's get you to the Infirmary," she said, eager for the night to be over.

Draco placed a hand on his cheek and stared at her retreating back, his face turning slightly pink and thinking quite the opposite.

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><p><strong>AN. <strong>Here's a little bit of something that's been plaguing my mind lately. Slightly OOC? Hm. Anyway, thanks for reading, please tell me what you think!

_Cunaria – Latin word for nanny_

Revised on: December 8, 2012


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